Dear God,
Thank You for Friday night. Thank You for Mary, who suggested it, the family I got to share it with, and all of the friends I got to see when I was there. Thank You for the love in Deni's heart that makes every visit such a joy. Thank You for all of the beautiful people you have shown me through EastLake, Lawrence, and even facebook. I would never have believed that one person could be so rich in friends.
Thank You for bringing us the opportunity to see Ash again. Thank You for Melissa's honesty. Forgive me for holding on to my anger and my hurt. I'm not sure how else to feel towards Melissa and I'm not fully sure that I want to. And I know that I need to apologize to Dan today. I have been praying for You to bring Ash back to us and trying to sit back and let Dan take the steps that he feels are right. But even as I am waiting on the outside, I am not being actively patient on the inside. I am holding a grudge against Melissa for every minute away from Ash and against Dan for every second his is not taking the steps that I feel are right. I've been snippy and snarky and rude to him. Lord, please help me to let go of this pain and anger. My soul has a white knuckled grip on this and I am not sure how to let go. I feel like I have the right to be mad and be the victim even though I know it's wrong and hurting both myself and those around me.
Dear God, please change the way I think. I don't want to think about how this affects our case if we go back to court. I want my heart to be open and loving but I don't know how. Forgive me for my lack of faith and tear this hurt and anger from me that I can begin to heal and begin to learn how to quit being a victim. Give me the peace that can only come from You and let me reflect Your love into this situation and all of my situations. Thank You for giving me the supportive and loving biological and church family that You have given me to strengthen me during this hard time.
As You guide my thoughts and show me the steps I need to take to grow in Your love, I want to thank You again for the love, support and encouragement You have shown me through EastLake. As You help me let go of my pain and anger, so that I can quit being a victim and truly triumph over satan, expand Your help and mercy to all of our EastLake family. So many of us are struggling under the burden of past pain. We are loathe to let go of it because it is so familiar to us. It's such a cute little demon that we think we can handle him. We are afraid that if we let him go, somebody bigger and nastier is going to take his place. Lord, I pray that You banish those demons for us today. Cast those old hurts and grudges so far from us that they are beyond our uncanny ability to pull them back. Lord, fill that void for us. Lift these sorrows that we may not even know we are holding onto and place a new rosebush in the gardens of our hearts. Let Your love bloom in those roses and let the thorns keep us from allowing that cute little demon a grip on us again. As You tear these demons away, give us Your vision to see that this cute little demon has grown up. Let us see him for the evil that he is and not to fight for him as You cleanse him from our hearts.
Let the healing begin today, Lord. Change our thoughts that we will learn to abhor those demons and be less likely to let another one in. Move our hearts towards peace and show us our next steps that will not only bring us closer to You, but show others that they too can be healed by Your mercy.
Amen
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Sunday Morning Review 18
Dear heavenly Father,
Thank You for bringing me friends to support me in all the ways I need. Thank You for Regan's insistence that I take care of myself, Edye's constant support and June's admonishment to not be anxious and to pray, PRAY, PRAY! Forgive me for my anxiety and fear that I allowed to build up over some silly dental work. Thank You for staying with me in that dental chair and calming my nerves as the enemy was trying to electrocute me by way of anxiety. Thank You for being my strength when I cannot stand on my own.
Guide Dan and I as we work through our current financial crisis. Help us to be faithful to our budget and to You in how we budget and how we work to stick to it. Help me to stay focused in all of my own budgeting: My time, my talents and my resources. Help me to gather the knowledge that I need and then to take the next step in putting it, not just to good use, but to Godly use. Help me to truly use all that I have and all that I am, to Your glory.
Help me to see that every decision I make in regards to how I spend money, how and what I eat, how or if I take care of my physical body, how often I pray or read your word, and whether I snap and complain or rejoice and be patient, EVERY SINGLE DECISION, is a choice to obey or disobey. Every action I take and every thought I follow will either glorify You or aid the enemy. This is a war that we are waging. Lord, help me to be a warrior who is all for You and not some wishy-washy double agent.
Commander of all that is good and just, let EastLake be Your army in this constant battle against evil. Let us take up the armor of Your word to shield us from sin. Let us make a weapon of Your grace, to shine a light in those shadows where the enemy is strong. Let our decisions as a church be an example of Your wisdom, not only in who we hire, but in why and how we hire them. Let Matt's inspiration help us to slay our doubts and to see the ways we are helping the enemy. Help all of us at EastLake to burn for You. Help us to see that every action is a choice. Will we glorify You? Or are we working against You? Lord, help us to see those choices in how we love our kids, treat our friends, love our enemies and welcome strangers. Lord, strengthen us in Your grace as we battle public opinion and stereotypes kindled by well-meaning but misguided souls. Lord, please clearly show us our path that we may not come to the same forks and go astray.
And Lord, as You strengthen and guide us all here at EastLake, help us to carry Your love beyond our Sunday service and our growth groups. Let our every action be a testament to Your love that all who see us get a little taste. Let those little appetizers of love draw folks to us as the smell of BBQ brings them to South Park on Friday. We pray that You'll hold back the storms that we may electrify the air as we worship You. Help us use this great opportunity to open the invitation to folks we didn't even know to invite.
Let us not lose sight of You in our excitement. Let those who know us come to know You through us and take those next steps to know You more as they let go and step away from the pain of life alone without You.
Amen
Thank You for bringing me friends to support me in all the ways I need. Thank You for Regan's insistence that I take care of myself, Edye's constant support and June's admonishment to not be anxious and to pray, PRAY, PRAY! Forgive me for my anxiety and fear that I allowed to build up over some silly dental work. Thank You for staying with me in that dental chair and calming my nerves as the enemy was trying to electrocute me by way of anxiety. Thank You for being my strength when I cannot stand on my own.
Guide Dan and I as we work through our current financial crisis. Help us to be faithful to our budget and to You in how we budget and how we work to stick to it. Help me to stay focused in all of my own budgeting: My time, my talents and my resources. Help me to gather the knowledge that I need and then to take the next step in putting it, not just to good use, but to Godly use. Help me to truly use all that I have and all that I am, to Your glory.
Help me to see that every decision I make in regards to how I spend money, how and what I eat, how or if I take care of my physical body, how often I pray or read your word, and whether I snap and complain or rejoice and be patient, EVERY SINGLE DECISION, is a choice to obey or disobey. Every action I take and every thought I follow will either glorify You or aid the enemy. This is a war that we are waging. Lord, help me to be a warrior who is all for You and not some wishy-washy double agent.
Commander of all that is good and just, let EastLake be Your army in this constant battle against evil. Let us take up the armor of Your word to shield us from sin. Let us make a weapon of Your grace, to shine a light in those shadows where the enemy is strong. Let our decisions as a church be an example of Your wisdom, not only in who we hire, but in why and how we hire them. Let Matt's inspiration help us to slay our doubts and to see the ways we are helping the enemy. Help all of us at EastLake to burn for You. Help us to see that every action is a choice. Will we glorify You? Or are we working against You? Lord, help us to see those choices in how we love our kids, treat our friends, love our enemies and welcome strangers. Lord, strengthen us in Your grace as we battle public opinion and stereotypes kindled by well-meaning but misguided souls. Lord, please clearly show us our path that we may not come to the same forks and go astray.
And Lord, as You strengthen and guide us all here at EastLake, help us to carry Your love beyond our Sunday service and our growth groups. Let our every action be a testament to Your love that all who see us get a little taste. Let those little appetizers of love draw folks to us as the smell of BBQ brings them to South Park on Friday. We pray that You'll hold back the storms that we may electrify the air as we worship You. Help us use this great opportunity to open the invitation to folks we didn't even know to invite.
Let us not lose sight of You in our excitement. Let those who know us come to know You through us and take those next steps to know You more as they let go and step away from the pain of life alone without You.
Amen
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Sunday Morning Review 17
Dear Daddy in Heaven,
Thank You for the joyous week You have given me. Thank You for bringing new friends to me through EastLake and for strengthening current relationships. let the excitement for worship night spill over so much that people are either putting on galoshes to keep from getting their feet wet or they just gotta go find out what all the excitement is about.
Help me to be an example of Your love in ALL ways. Not just the easy ways. Help me to work past what could truly be food addiction to the truth that only You can bring me comfort. Help me to find the balance between my pain and my budget. Lord, I trust in Your power and Your grace that You have a plan to heal this pain and wash all these toxins away. Please guide me in a way so obvious that even I can't miss the path I need to take. And Lord, let the world see You through our budget. I know that there is no security in our budget. I know that there never will be, no matter how much we cut corners, which jobs Dan or I take or how much extra cash we can bring in. Show us the ways to reduce our current commitments without adding to our debt snowball, which is already growing so big as it rolls downhill that it's hard to see a way it won't crush us. Please protect us from our own stupidity. Protect us from ourselves and our wants and our gimme's and our desire for instant gratification.
Lord, thank You for Your word today and it's message to me. Thank You for hearing my prayers even though some days I feel as though I'm closer to the wicked end of the scale than to the righteous. I know that PCOS means that my body is hoarding fat because it thinks I'm going to starve. Your grace amazes me this morning as You spoke so directly to me. Wondrous healer, thank You seems so insufficient, yet I have no better words and You know the weight that You have lifted off of me today through that one thought. Thank You, my kind and loving Daddy in heaven, for showing me that PCOS is not just in my physical body, but in my head and my heart as well. As we move into the second half of the month and the bulk of our food budget is gone again, I want another helping while it's still there to take. I am resentful of that one bite that Livi wants to try of my food when she already has her own portion. I may still share, but it is only begrudgingly. Forgive me that I am reduced to a dog growling over a bone-- and at my own child--when there are a hundred other bones within easy reach.
Lord, You have shared Your generosity with us again this week through Your children. I see how you clothed the lilies and how you have clothed us. I know that the ravens brought food to Elijah, You sent manna to feed Your people in the desert and You fed hundreds of people with one boy's lunch. You have proven over and again that You take care of Your people and that You count me among them. How silly am I to doubt Your love for me and Your protection?
Please help me to see all the aspects of my life where I have PCOS. In what areas do I not trust Your grace? Thank You for the reminder that Your grace is truly sufficient and that You will fulfill ALL of my needs in Your love and mercy.
Hugs and kisses, Dad,
Love, Ericka
Thank You for the joyous week You have given me. Thank You for bringing new friends to me through EastLake and for strengthening current relationships. let the excitement for worship night spill over so much that people are either putting on galoshes to keep from getting their feet wet or they just gotta go find out what all the excitement is about.
Help me to be an example of Your love in ALL ways. Not just the easy ways. Help me to work past what could truly be food addiction to the truth that only You can bring me comfort. Help me to find the balance between my pain and my budget. Lord, I trust in Your power and Your grace that You have a plan to heal this pain and wash all these toxins away. Please guide me in a way so obvious that even I can't miss the path I need to take. And Lord, let the world see You through our budget. I know that there is no security in our budget. I know that there never will be, no matter how much we cut corners, which jobs Dan or I take or how much extra cash we can bring in. Show us the ways to reduce our current commitments without adding to our debt snowball, which is already growing so big as it rolls downhill that it's hard to see a way it won't crush us. Please protect us from our own stupidity. Protect us from ourselves and our wants and our gimme's and our desire for instant gratification.
Lord, thank You for Your word today and it's message to me. Thank You for hearing my prayers even though some days I feel as though I'm closer to the wicked end of the scale than to the righteous. I know that PCOS means that my body is hoarding fat because it thinks I'm going to starve. Your grace amazes me this morning as You spoke so directly to me. Wondrous healer, thank You seems so insufficient, yet I have no better words and You know the weight that You have lifted off of me today through that one thought. Thank You, my kind and loving Daddy in heaven, for showing me that PCOS is not just in my physical body, but in my head and my heart as well. As we move into the second half of the month and the bulk of our food budget is gone again, I want another helping while it's still there to take. I am resentful of that one bite that Livi wants to try of my food when she already has her own portion. I may still share, but it is only begrudgingly. Forgive me that I am reduced to a dog growling over a bone-- and at my own child--when there are a hundred other bones within easy reach.
Lord, You have shared Your generosity with us again this week through Your children. I see how you clothed the lilies and how you have clothed us. I know that the ravens brought food to Elijah, You sent manna to feed Your people in the desert and You fed hundreds of people with one boy's lunch. You have proven over and again that You take care of Your people and that You count me among them. How silly am I to doubt Your love for me and Your protection?
Please help me to see all the aspects of my life where I have PCOS. In what areas do I not trust Your grace? Thank You for the reminder that Your grace is truly sufficient and that You will fulfill ALL of my needs in Your love and mercy.
Hugs and kisses, Dad,
Love, Ericka
Friday, July 15, 2011
Ungrateful
Click here to read about the day that inspired this prayer.
Dear God,
I am sorry that I have not been more grateful. Please forgive me for losing sight of my blessings because of a little bobble in my plans.
I DO miss Ash something fierce. Thank You for letting me know that she is safe and healthy. Thank you for the loving spirit you have given her, and that she calls us when she is excited. Thank You for Melissa and Dee who love her and for all that they are doing for her this summer, even if their motives are not pure. Thank You for taking those things that were intended to harm Dan and I and for turning them to the good for Ash.
I was really hoping to get at least an interview for that EastLake job. I was so excited for the possibility of that opportunity. Thank You for moving me to apply and grow. Forgive me for losing sight of Your goals over my wants. Forgive me for not trusting in Your perfect plan for me. Please help me to see my next steps on the path You have laid out for me.
Thank You for the blessing of holiday pay that allowed us to go to McDonald's for dollar menu and ice cream. Forgive me for placing so much importance on unhealthy food choices that it could make me cry, when I should have asked for Your comfort. Please help me to move past this issue I have with food. Help me to discover if this is an addiction, and if so, what do I need to do to free myself of it. Thank You for the wonderfully loving and supportive family You have surrounded me with at EastLake.
Lord, help me to see my blessings first and foremost. Getting caught up in the negatives is not in Your plan. I know that when those thoughts creep in, I am tuned in to the wrong station.
Help me to focus on tasks that I need to accomplish so that I can avoid distractions and irrational fears. Guide me through challenging phone calls and tasks so that I can get them done and out of the way. Help me be motivated to get those kinds of jobs finished so that I can enjoy my family time without guilt.
Amen
Dear God,
I am sorry that I have not been more grateful. Please forgive me for losing sight of my blessings because of a little bobble in my plans.
I DO miss Ash something fierce. Thank You for letting me know that she is safe and healthy. Thank you for the loving spirit you have given her, and that she calls us when she is excited. Thank You for Melissa and Dee who love her and for all that they are doing for her this summer, even if their motives are not pure. Thank You for taking those things that were intended to harm Dan and I and for turning them to the good for Ash.
I was really hoping to get at least an interview for that EastLake job. I was so excited for the possibility of that opportunity. Thank You for moving me to apply and grow. Forgive me for losing sight of Your goals over my wants. Forgive me for not trusting in Your perfect plan for me. Please help me to see my next steps on the path You have laid out for me.
Thank You for the blessing of holiday pay that allowed us to go to McDonald's for dollar menu and ice cream. Forgive me for placing so much importance on unhealthy food choices that it could make me cry, when I should have asked for Your comfort. Please help me to move past this issue I have with food. Help me to discover if this is an addiction, and if so, what do I need to do to free myself of it. Thank You for the wonderfully loving and supportive family You have surrounded me with at EastLake.
Lord, help me to see my blessings first and foremost. Getting caught up in the negatives is not in Your plan. I know that when those thoughts creep in, I am tuned in to the wrong station.
Help me to focus on tasks that I need to accomplish so that I can avoid distractions and irrational fears. Guide me through challenging phone calls and tasks so that I can get them done and out of the way. Help me be motivated to get those kinds of jobs finished so that I can enjoy my family time without guilt.
Amen
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Sunday Morning Review 16
Dear God,
What a blessed week this has been. We got to enjoy the fourth together as a family and with the added surprise of Grandpa Al. I've been learning and growing through my groups as well as building new and long-term relationships. Thank You, God, for all that Eastlake has done for me and for all I can do to help You use us in Lawrence.
We've had rides and sitters and mommy/daughter playdates. I've seen friends' prayers be answered in unexpected ways as new struggles arise and people I know well, that I barely know, and friends I haven't seen in years are all turning to me for guidance. I know that You must be bringing them to me and I trust in Your guidance as I share Your love. I never expected to find myself in such a role again after all these years of wandering, but I am blessed to know how I found my way back to You and I hope that I can be a comfort and a safe place to rest both for those who already know You and those who don't yet know how much they need You. Thank You for the questions that you are raising in my Dan and the trust he has in me that he will come to me with his questions. I long to see the moment when he feels Your spirit move in him.
Thank You for bringing Dan and I together on our budget. Please help me to remember that there is no security in our budget and that it is through Your grace and love that we are protected. Help us to heed Your wisdom as we plan a budget that can glorify You with the money that You have so graciously entrusted to us. Please be our strength as we struggle to figure out what has to go and carry us when our weak wills would give up and spend even further beyond our means. Guide me in creative ways that we can have fun as a family, while still teaching our kids to budget their time, talents, money and health.
Thank You for all of the groups I am in and all of the great friends you have touched me with. Help me to be a blessing to them as they are blessing me. Help me and all the group leaders, to know when to talk and when to shut up. Help us to grow as we support others in Your love.
And finally, Lord, today I would ask you for healing and protection. There are so many hurts in our EastLake family while others are experiencing unbounded joy. Let those who are lifted now feel Your grace fully. Let there be no taint on their blessing when they see others struggling. Help us all to feel Your hand in our lives through both the happiness and the grief. Help us to have faith that no matter how great our plan is, Yours is infinitely better. Help EastLake to continue to be Your lighthouse even through our family struggles that none lose sight of You in their personal storms.
Let the love and attitude of service that permeates EastLake draw even more lives to Your love as we prepare for our worship night in a time when so many are lost and don't yet know that You are what they have been searching for. Fan the flames of Your spirit in our hearts so that Your glory will shine through all we do and all we are.
Amen
What a blessed week this has been. We got to enjoy the fourth together as a family and with the added surprise of Grandpa Al. I've been learning and growing through my groups as well as building new and long-term relationships. Thank You, God, for all that Eastlake has done for me and for all I can do to help You use us in Lawrence.
We've had rides and sitters and mommy/daughter playdates. I've seen friends' prayers be answered in unexpected ways as new struggles arise and people I know well, that I barely know, and friends I haven't seen in years are all turning to me for guidance. I know that You must be bringing them to me and I trust in Your guidance as I share Your love. I never expected to find myself in such a role again after all these years of wandering, but I am blessed to know how I found my way back to You and I hope that I can be a comfort and a safe place to rest both for those who already know You and those who don't yet know how much they need You. Thank You for the questions that you are raising in my Dan and the trust he has in me that he will come to me with his questions. I long to see the moment when he feels Your spirit move in him.
Thank You for bringing Dan and I together on our budget. Please help me to remember that there is no security in our budget and that it is through Your grace and love that we are protected. Help us to heed Your wisdom as we plan a budget that can glorify You with the money that You have so graciously entrusted to us. Please be our strength as we struggle to figure out what has to go and carry us when our weak wills would give up and spend even further beyond our means. Guide me in creative ways that we can have fun as a family, while still teaching our kids to budget their time, talents, money and health.
Thank You for all of the groups I am in and all of the great friends you have touched me with. Help me to be a blessing to them as they are blessing me. Help me and all the group leaders, to know when to talk and when to shut up. Help us to grow as we support others in Your love.
And finally, Lord, today I would ask you for healing and protection. There are so many hurts in our EastLake family while others are experiencing unbounded joy. Let those who are lifted now feel Your grace fully. Let there be no taint on their blessing when they see others struggling. Help us all to feel Your hand in our lives through both the happiness and the grief. Help us to have faith that no matter how great our plan is, Yours is infinitely better. Help EastLake to continue to be Your lighthouse even through our family struggles that none lose sight of You in their personal storms.
Let the love and attitude of service that permeates EastLake draw even more lives to Your love as we prepare for our worship night in a time when so many are lost and don't yet know that You are what they have been searching for. Fan the flames of Your spirit in our hearts so that Your glory will shine through all we do and all we are.
Amen
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Sunday Morning Review 15: Forgiveness and Peace
Dear Heavenly Father,
I miss our little girl. I don't get to talk to her because Dan is at work when he calls her and our call times are also group times. I have been working hard on forgiving Melissa and you have washed so much anger away from me. I praise you for your mercy and patience as I through this cycle of frustration and forgiveness again and again. You know I will keep trying forever and you have shown me the love that does make this easier. I know that obedience has built in rewards and forgiveness brings peace. Thank you for that. I know that you hold our daughter, Ashlynn, in your arms. I know that she is known and safe and loved. I know that you will bring her to us as is your will in your time. I am struggling to be patient. In a world where moms like Shayna can't carry babies of their own to love and beautiful girls like Jayden and Kim leave us way too soon, I realize that my wishes seem pretty small. I know that Ashlynn is your daughter and that you entrusted us to love her as ours, and to nurture her and help her grow. I have loved that role. I was not ready to give up that full time role, but we did to save her from being pulled apart. Now it seems that our limited role has been cut back even further. Is this your will? Or is this Satan's way of trying to shake my faith? I want to do your will and I am trying to let her go to you. Lord, I am grieving. I am doing my best to respect Dan's decisions, choices and lack of choices as the head of our home. Please help me to be patient and supportive and not nag on him to do things my way. If it is your will for us to spend time with Ashlynn this summer, I beg you to let us know soon. It is so hard to be patient when my heart is breaking, Lord. I am giving Livi and Payton extra hugs and kisses. Payton's been gone so much more than usual this summer too. Thank you for giving Dan and I our beautiful daughter, Livi, who we don't have to share with a third parent. Thank you for EastLake, with the friends and family who support us and the growth groups that keep me going through this time.
Father, Daddy, thank you for the role you have given me as a mother to all of the beautiful children you have shared with me; Payton, Avian, Ashlynn, Saanna and Olivia. Thank you for the four other blessed babies who are with you and I never got a chance to know. Thank you for giving me the qualities to be the mother that they have all needed at the times we were together. My cup overflows with your love and mercy, yet I am not content. I cry and plead for me. I fight, kicking and screaming, when you ask me to fill a different role. Forgive me. Dear Daddy in heaven, forgive me for being so ungrateful. Dear daddy, with your arms around me in my dirty kitchen, forgive me for my selfishness.
You have never let me down. I know that as I fulfill the role you have given me, my rewards will be greater than all of what has been taken away from me. I love you so much.
Thank you for sitting and talking with me today, Dad. Your comfort cradles me as your grace soothes my heart. Thank you for your peace. Please let that peace flow through me today that all I touch may feel it and relax into your safe and loving arms with me.
Talk to ya later, Dad,
Love, Eeka
I miss our little girl. I don't get to talk to her because Dan is at work when he calls her and our call times are also group times. I have been working hard on forgiving Melissa and you have washed so much anger away from me. I praise you for your mercy and patience as I through this cycle of frustration and forgiveness again and again. You know I will keep trying forever and you have shown me the love that does make this easier. I know that obedience has built in rewards and forgiveness brings peace. Thank you for that. I know that you hold our daughter, Ashlynn, in your arms. I know that she is known and safe and loved. I know that you will bring her to us as is your will in your time. I am struggling to be patient. In a world where moms like Shayna can't carry babies of their own to love and beautiful girls like Jayden and Kim leave us way too soon, I realize that my wishes seem pretty small. I know that Ashlynn is your daughter and that you entrusted us to love her as ours, and to nurture her and help her grow. I have loved that role. I was not ready to give up that full time role, but we did to save her from being pulled apart. Now it seems that our limited role has been cut back even further. Is this your will? Or is this Satan's way of trying to shake my faith? I want to do your will and I am trying to let her go to you. Lord, I am grieving. I am doing my best to respect Dan's decisions, choices and lack of choices as the head of our home. Please help me to be patient and supportive and not nag on him to do things my way. If it is your will for us to spend time with Ashlynn this summer, I beg you to let us know soon. It is so hard to be patient when my heart is breaking, Lord. I am giving Livi and Payton extra hugs and kisses. Payton's been gone so much more than usual this summer too. Thank you for giving Dan and I our beautiful daughter, Livi, who we don't have to share with a third parent. Thank you for EastLake, with the friends and family who support us and the growth groups that keep me going through this time.
Father, Daddy, thank you for the role you have given me as a mother to all of the beautiful children you have shared with me; Payton, Avian, Ashlynn, Saanna and Olivia. Thank you for the four other blessed babies who are with you and I never got a chance to know. Thank you for giving me the qualities to be the mother that they have all needed at the times we were together. My cup overflows with your love and mercy, yet I am not content. I cry and plead for me. I fight, kicking and screaming, when you ask me to fill a different role. Forgive me. Dear Daddy in heaven, forgive me for being so ungrateful. Dear daddy, with your arms around me in my dirty kitchen, forgive me for my selfishness.
You have never let me down. I know that as I fulfill the role you have given me, my rewards will be greater than all of what has been taken away from me. I love you so much.
Thank you for sitting and talking with me today, Dad. Your comfort cradles me as your grace soothes my heart. Thank you for your peace. Please let that peace flow through me today that all I touch may feel it and relax into your safe and loving arms with me.
Talk to ya later, Dad,
Love, Eeka
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sunday Morning Review 14
Dear God,
Thank you for the beautiful week you have given me. Thank you for the coolness of the weather and the wonder of the storms. Thank you for all of these moments with Livi that I am blessed to see rather than hearing about from a babysitter. Thank you for the renewed vitality in my marriage and the purpose that has driven me this week. Thank you for coffee and karaoke and cheese and making toys. Looking back at this week, I am stunned. To know that you have blessed me so much just because you love me and not because of anything I could ever do to deserve this . . . my heart is so overwhelmed. Thank you for all of the straightening that you have done to my pat this week. As I work to hear your voice and be who you have called me to be, the frustrations don't go away, but they are so much easier to bear with the proper perspective.
Thank you for all of the lessons you have taught me and the rewards that you have built into obedience. The closeness with Dan when I treat him with more compassion and respect ALL of his decisions as the head of our household. The beauty of watching new people meet Olivia and share in her joy. The free coffee and a new friend when I stick to our budget. My list goes on and on. The mercy and joy that you have showered me with this week almost wash away the memory of the abyss I had wandered into when I turned away from you. Lord, I will never again take happiness for granted. Thank you for helping me to realize that security will never be in my budget, but in your unconditional love for me, in spite of my brokenness. I, alone, am still broken but your mercy makes me feel like a whole new person.
Thank you for using EastLake to sneak back into my heart when I wasn't keeping my guard up. Lord, help me continue to make EastLake a safe place for others to find the one true antidepressant. Bless the prayer team, the coffee team and the myriad of others who serve you in ways I don't even know about. Whether you use me only as a volunteer, or you put me on staff, light me up, Lord. I feel like I'm shining with your spirit. Every time someone says I have helped or inspired them, I know they have seen your grace through me and I am humbled to be a part of your magnificent design.
Help me to honor a friend who has passed by sharing his love for a great cup of coffee today. Bless all that Chris has touched through his joy or his coffee. Wrap Matt up in your arms today as he mourns a friend.
I ask that every man, woman or child at EastLake feel a sense of the peace you have shared with me today. May we all leave with a lighter heart and a brighter smile. Help us to keep EastLake as a calm in our storms that helps us to stay focused on you.
Your love is amazing, your grace never ending.
Thank you, Ericka
Thank you for the beautiful week you have given me. Thank you for the coolness of the weather and the wonder of the storms. Thank you for all of these moments with Livi that I am blessed to see rather than hearing about from a babysitter. Thank you for the renewed vitality in my marriage and the purpose that has driven me this week. Thank you for coffee and karaoke and cheese and making toys. Looking back at this week, I am stunned. To know that you have blessed me so much just because you love me and not because of anything I could ever do to deserve this . . . my heart is so overwhelmed. Thank you for all of the straightening that you have done to my pat this week. As I work to hear your voice and be who you have called me to be, the frustrations don't go away, but they are so much easier to bear with the proper perspective.
Thank you for all of the lessons you have taught me and the rewards that you have built into obedience. The closeness with Dan when I treat him with more compassion and respect ALL of his decisions as the head of our household. The beauty of watching new people meet Olivia and share in her joy. The free coffee and a new friend when I stick to our budget. My list goes on and on. The mercy and joy that you have showered me with this week almost wash away the memory of the abyss I had wandered into when I turned away from you. Lord, I will never again take happiness for granted. Thank you for helping me to realize that security will never be in my budget, but in your unconditional love for me, in spite of my brokenness. I, alone, am still broken but your mercy makes me feel like a whole new person.
Thank you for using EastLake to sneak back into my heart when I wasn't keeping my guard up. Lord, help me continue to make EastLake a safe place for others to find the one true antidepressant. Bless the prayer team, the coffee team and the myriad of others who serve you in ways I don't even know about. Whether you use me only as a volunteer, or you put me on staff, light me up, Lord. I feel like I'm shining with your spirit. Every time someone says I have helped or inspired them, I know they have seen your grace through me and I am humbled to be a part of your magnificent design.
Help me to honor a friend who has passed by sharing his love for a great cup of coffee today. Bless all that Chris has touched through his joy or his coffee. Wrap Matt up in your arms today as he mourns a friend.
I ask that every man, woman or child at EastLake feel a sense of the peace you have shared with me today. May we all leave with a lighter heart and a brighter smile. Help us to keep EastLake as a calm in our storms that helps us to stay focused on you.
Your love is amazing, your grace never ending.
Thank you, Ericka
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Livi's Bedtime Prayer
Dear God, you are really awesome. Thank you for cheese and for making toys. Help me to be a big girl. And thank you for making the whole world just the way I wanted it. Amen
Then she turned to me and said, "Mommy, I love you SOOO much! Thank you for praying with me."
Then she turned to me and said, "Mommy, I love you SOOO much! Thank you for praying with me."
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Sunday Morning Review 8: Loss, Grief and Doubt
Dear Heavenly Father,
I am confused.
I know that as the mighty creator, you have designed things that I will never see. You have put plans into motion that I will never comprehend. This must be one of those plans.
I know that you care for us and that you still work miracles. You are not dead to us. You have not abandoned us. I have seen your love and compassion for me in the past week. I have seen that in your amazing mercies, you could use one as broken as I am to help light the path for someone else.
I have seen answered prayers in this past week. I have seen you move in people around me and in me. I am listening closely to hear your still small voice and I have asked for your wisdom to guide me in the path that you want me to take. Being the only true healer, you have allowed me to walk again. There are even short periods when I can walk with no pain. This is a miracle that I was afraid to even hope for, yet you blessed me.
But my most fervent prayers, my most heartfelt and humble pleas, my prayers of healing, love and protection for my sister and her unborn child, prayers that were offered up not just by me, but by my church family, my biological family and friends of our family, in hundreds of voices and different ways, you would not answer.
I know that you love her, and I believe that you who love perfectly, feel her pain more acutely than I do. I believe that you must have a plan for her that is far greater than this child would have been for her for you to allow her to suffer from such terrible pain.
I know that she and her husband are both hurt and lost. I know that he is angry and she is near to breaking. I need your wisdom and your guidance, as do their other friends and family, to help them in this darkness. I want to believe that somehow you can use this pain to lift them even higher than they would have asked. But I don't know your plan and wouldn't understand it if you were to show it to me.
I have been where she is God, and you know I know her pain. You know that I am reliving my own losses as my heart is breaking for her and her husband. I would pray that you lift this pain from my heart and heal it once and for all. I pray that you will bring my sister and her husband closer to you and to each other as you heal the pain of this ordeal.
But in my little faith, my weak and pathetic faith, I question and I doubt. I am trying to understand the point of asking. I have never been good at asking for help, from you or from others. If it was in your plan that I have a bed, wouldn't you still have sent it to me if I had not asked, just as you could not answer the many prayers lifted up to you for my sister's baby because you have other plans in store for her.
Your love and your mercies astound me, Lord. Your patience with me has no end. But my heart is breaking and my mind is befuddled. I know this confusion is a tool of satan's. I feel like I have the script of the wrong play and I don't know my lines. I don't see a path and his thorny hedges are hemming me in. God, I beg you to clear a path for me. Show me a way, even if it is not easy. Let me feel your arms around me as you carry us through this. I don't understand my part. I don't know my role. I don't know how to keep praying with the expectation that you will answer, when you aren't always going to because you have other designs.
I feel so lost. I know that once you bring me through this, I will better understand and I will be stronger. I know that you will use my new understanding to share your wisdom with others who have these same questions.
Please lend me your peace and your patience as I wait upon your wisdom and understanding.
In Jesus' name, I humbly implore you,
Amen
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Persecution
Dear God,
Bless my friend with Your spirit that even though he may never say Your name at work, all that know him may still feel Your love. Help us all to remember that our example may be our witness when the words are not allowed. Help those of us who love You, as well as those who do not, to realize that true faith is neither in our words or our deeds but in who we are. We can no more remain separate from Your love than we can live without air.
Guide us in Your light and help us to reflect that to the world.
Love, Ericka
Bless my friend with Your spirit that even though he may never say Your name at work, all that know him may still feel Your love. Help us all to remember that our example may be our witness when the words are not allowed. Help those of us who love You, as well as those who do not, to realize that true faith is neither in our words or our deeds but in who we are. We can no more remain separate from Your love than we can live without air.
Guide us in Your light and help us to reflect that to the world.
Love, Ericka
Thursday, April 14, 2011
God's blinding light
Dear God,
Thank You for all of the awesomeness that You have added to my day! I know that there is nothing I can do to deserve this, but I am more than happy to accept!
What I was SO happy NOT to accept was that pity party invitation. Thank You for the blessing of peace that you have given me. Thank You for carrying me through all that darkness so that I could truly appreciate the light of Your love. I ask that You guide my path that I never have to struggle through such complete darkness again, but I will always try my best to do whatever You require of me.
As I prepare to lead a growth group this summer, and every day, please help me to share Your love with others. Let me be Your hands and feet to lead others through those dark and scary places. Help me use the gift of writing that You have bestowed upon me to spread Your peace and understanding farther than the spoken word alone could go. Help me have the courage to expose my weaknesses in order to showcase the power of Your grace.
Help my feet not to falter when our finances get scary. I remind myself that as I give my gifts for you and turn my finances over to you, you will fill all the needs of my family. Bless my home as I strive to always place my trust in You.
Love, Ericka
Thank You for all of the awesomeness that You have added to my day! I know that there is nothing I can do to deserve this, but I am more than happy to accept!
What I was SO happy NOT to accept was that pity party invitation. Thank You for the blessing of peace that you have given me. Thank You for carrying me through all that darkness so that I could truly appreciate the light of Your love. I ask that You guide my path that I never have to struggle through such complete darkness again, but I will always try my best to do whatever You require of me.
As I prepare to lead a growth group this summer, and every day, please help me to share Your love with others. Let me be Your hands and feet to lead others through those dark and scary places. Help me use the gift of writing that You have bestowed upon me to spread Your peace and understanding farther than the spoken word alone could go. Help me have the courage to expose my weaknesses in order to showcase the power of Your grace.
Help my feet not to falter when our finances get scary. I remind myself that as I give my gifts for you and turn my finances over to you, you will fill all the needs of my family. Bless my home as I strive to always place my trust in You.
Love, Ericka
Monday, April 11, 2011
Weary
Dear God,
Please grant me a gentle rest in the comfort of your arms tonight. It is late and I am tired and I know I won't get as much sleep as my body needs. Help me to feel refreshed so I can start my busy day and keep taking the necessary steps to rebuild this temple.
Help my chiropractor to allow my body to heal itself. Bring the calm to my heart that I will need to face this day and help me to keep going until my work for the day is truly done.
Thank you for the many blessings you have bestowed upon me and for lifting the veil of anger from me that has been keeping me from being loving to Melissa.
Love, Eeka
Please grant me a gentle rest in the comfort of your arms tonight. It is late and I am tired and I know I won't get as much sleep as my body needs. Help me to feel refreshed so I can start my busy day and keep taking the necessary steps to rebuild this temple.
Help my chiropractor to allow my body to heal itself. Bring the calm to my heart that I will need to face this day and help me to keep going until my work for the day is truly done.
Thank you for the many blessings you have bestowed upon me and for lifting the veil of anger from me that has been keeping me from being loving to Melissa.
Love, Eeka
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Sunday Morning Review 3
Good morning, Lord!
Thank you for carrying me through another week in your grace. We both know how hard this week has been for me but only you know how much harder it could have been. Thank you for the blessing of that protection.
I started my week in confidence and pride that I had been trusting in you more. Yes, Lord, I fully admit that my pride was my downfall this week.
I've been so tired, Lord, that when Satan came at me with a little pain, I fell for it. I was so used to dealing with my pain poorly, and on my own. Forgive me for taking a couple of days to remember that only you can heal and only you can help me move beyond that pain.
Just when I thought I was back on an even keel, BAM! That email came from Melissa. You know how hard I have been struggling to open my heart and let go of those hurts so you can heal them. I've just had them so long that they are familiar. Please help me to do better. I know that if I listen, you will show me the way to have the best relationship with her that is possible. I know that you are the one who can open her heart so that we can truly work together for what is best for Ashlynn.
This week was my first big test after truly accepting your love for me and I feel that I have failed you miserably. Thank you for your patience with me as I struggle to be more of the person you want me to be. Thank you for the strength with which you have carried me this week. Thank you for all of the earthly supports you have given me to guide me on my way. Thank you for using EastLake as the catalyst for the changes that I needed and for blessing me with so many beautiful souls. Help me to be a blessing to my EastLake family if even only in small proportion compared to the blessings that they have been for me. Help us all to be obedient this week, not only in the easy things but especially in our challenges. Guide us and strengthen us as we strive to share your love with Lawrence and beyond. Please take the offerings of our efforts and expand them exponentially so that Lawrence may become more than just an awesome place to live but a lighthouse of your love.
Help us to remember that in our little messes, like our seemingly constant struggle with Melissa, how blessed we truly are. If the end result of dealing with an ex is the blessing of a daughter, who am I to complain? We all know of at least one EastLake family who would trade such a petty battle to know that their baby girl would be healthy. God, continue to give Jayden and her family your strength and your love. Thank you for the good days you have given them and let them feel your comfort and peace when the struggles are the hardest.
Guide our EastLake family to show your love to others this season as you guide me to be more obedient with both big and small things.
Love, Ericka
Thank you for carrying me through another week in your grace. We both know how hard this week has been for me but only you know how much harder it could have been. Thank you for the blessing of that protection.
I started my week in confidence and pride that I had been trusting in you more. Yes, Lord, I fully admit that my pride was my downfall this week.
I've been so tired, Lord, that when Satan came at me with a little pain, I fell for it. I was so used to dealing with my pain poorly, and on my own. Forgive me for taking a couple of days to remember that only you can heal and only you can help me move beyond that pain.
Just when I thought I was back on an even keel, BAM! That email came from Melissa. You know how hard I have been struggling to open my heart and let go of those hurts so you can heal them. I've just had them so long that they are familiar. Please help me to do better. I know that if I listen, you will show me the way to have the best relationship with her that is possible. I know that you are the one who can open her heart so that we can truly work together for what is best for Ashlynn.
This week was my first big test after truly accepting your love for me and I feel that I have failed you miserably. Thank you for your patience with me as I struggle to be more of the person you want me to be. Thank you for the strength with which you have carried me this week. Thank you for all of the earthly supports you have given me to guide me on my way. Thank you for using EastLake as the catalyst for the changes that I needed and for blessing me with so many beautiful souls. Help me to be a blessing to my EastLake family if even only in small proportion compared to the blessings that they have been for me. Help us all to be obedient this week, not only in the easy things but especially in our challenges. Guide us and strengthen us as we strive to share your love with Lawrence and beyond. Please take the offerings of our efforts and expand them exponentially so that Lawrence may become more than just an awesome place to live but a lighthouse of your love.
Help us to remember that in our little messes, like our seemingly constant struggle with Melissa, how blessed we truly are. If the end result of dealing with an ex is the blessing of a daughter, who am I to complain? We all know of at least one EastLake family who would trade such a petty battle to know that their baby girl would be healthy. God, continue to give Jayden and her family your strength and your love. Thank you for the good days you have given them and let them feel your comfort and peace when the struggles are the hardest.
Guide our EastLake family to show your love to others this season as you guide me to be more obedient with both big and small things.
Love, Ericka
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The other mother 2
Dearest God,
Please give me the peace to rest well tonight and be refreshed tomorrow. Take my worries about Ashlynn and her mom and Momma and Daddy and wash them away in the strength of your love.
Grant me an open mind and the wisdom to see and accept the solution to this problem.
Help me to follow your will and not what I think is best. Help me to be the mom that Ash needs me to be and use me to be an example of your love.
Please guide me in your wisdom and bless the other mom and I both with a measure of your peace and love so we may work together for what is truly best for Ashlynn.
Love, Ericka
Please give me the peace to rest well tonight and be refreshed tomorrow. Take my worries about Ashlynn and her mom and Momma and Daddy and wash them away in the strength of your love.
Grant me an open mind and the wisdom to see and accept the solution to this problem.
Help me to follow your will and not what I think is best. Help me to be the mom that Ash needs me to be and use me to be an example of your love.
Please guide me in your wisdom and bless the other mom and I both with a measure of your peace and love so we may work together for what is truly best for Ashlynn.
Love, Ericka
Monday, April 4, 2011
The other mother
Dear Lord,
Help me to let this pain go and accept the situation for what it is. Help me to sympathize for whatever pain she is dealing with that may be causing her to be so antagonistic. Bless her with your love and light and help her to heal her wounds. Help me to love her as your daughter, Ashlynn's mom and a sister in your love. Let me not add another pain on top of the many she has endured, including those I may have already caused. Forgive me for sinning against you as I thought, spoke and acted wrongfully against her. Grant me your wisdom that I may grow in your grace and in my relationship with her.
Thank you for giving me an open heart and an opportunity to grow.
Love, Ericka
Help me to let this pain go and accept the situation for what it is. Help me to sympathize for whatever pain she is dealing with that may be causing her to be so antagonistic. Bless her with your love and light and help her to heal her wounds. Help me to love her as your daughter, Ashlynn's mom and a sister in your love. Let me not add another pain on top of the many she has endured, including those I may have already caused. Forgive me for sinning against you as I thought, spoke and acted wrongfully against her. Grant me your wisdom that I may grow in your grace and in my relationship with her.
Thank you for giving me an open heart and an opportunity to grow.
Love, Ericka
My Dan
Dear God,
How do I deal with my frustration with Dan when I believe it is justified? How do I keep from being his mom and treating him like a child when I feel like he is acting childish? Am I treating him this way because he is acting juvenile, or is he behaving this way because I am treating him this way? Is it my duty to make his choices for him? Should I not expect him to take some responsibility for himself? I love him. I just don't know how to deal with him lately.
Please guide m with your wisdom so I can grow with him rather than pushing him away.
Thank you for bringing Dan and I together. So far, your plan has been amazing. Please help me to keep my heart open to keep following your lead.
Love, Ericka
How do I deal with my frustration with Dan when I believe it is justified? How do I keep from being his mom and treating him like a child when I feel like he is acting childish? Am I treating him this way because he is acting juvenile, or is he behaving this way because I am treating him this way? Is it my duty to make his choices for him? Should I not expect him to take some responsibility for himself? I love him. I just don't know how to deal with him lately.
Please guide m with your wisdom so I can grow with him rather than pushing him away.
Thank you for bringing Dan and I together. So far, your plan has been amazing. Please help me to keep my heart open to keep following your lead.
Love, Ericka
Gaining Momentum
Dear God,
Thank you for supporting me so far today. Thank you for the blessings of Edye, Joyce, Dr. Risley and Katelynn. Thank you for all of the supports that are getting me moving and that are encouraging me. I needed some of that today. But then, you know that! :)
Please give me the strength and endurance I need to do the things that are truly important today. Please help me make sure that my list doesn't supersede your list. I know that I have been making great strides, but I need your help to keep my momentum going. I need your help in tackling my finances and figuring out how everything is going to get paid. Thank you for all that you have done and continue to do for me and through me.
Love, Ericka
Thank you for supporting me so far today. Thank you for the blessings of Edye, Joyce, Dr. Risley and Katelynn. Thank you for all of the supports that are getting me moving and that are encouraging me. I needed some of that today. But then, you know that! :)
Please give me the strength and endurance I need to do the things that are truly important today. Please help me make sure that my list doesn't supersede your list. I know that I have been making great strides, but I need your help to keep my momentum going. I need your help in tackling my finances and figuring out how everything is going to get paid. Thank you for all that you have done and continue to do for me and through me.
Love, Ericka
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Bed time
Dear God,
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
I have several very important prayers to work on. Please help me to write the prayers in such a way as can lift the needs to you and can help them feel your way if they read them. Please keep my friends close to you in their struggles. Please help me to see with your vision to the core of what I can do to help them. Give me our understanding to be able to support and guide them closer to you. Please inspire my dreams that I may go on the road you guide me to tomorrow.
Please grant me a peaceful sleep tat will leave me energized to do your will.
Love, Ericka
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
I have several very important prayers to work on. Please help me to write the prayers in such a way as can lift the needs to you and can help them feel your way if they read them. Please keep my friends close to you in their struggles. Please help me to see with your vision to the core of what I can do to help them. Give me our understanding to be able to support and guide them closer to you. Please inspire my dreams that I may go on the road you guide me to tomorrow.
Please grant me a peaceful sleep tat will leave me energized to do your will.
Love, Ericka
My Sunday Morning Review 2
Dear God,
Thank you for not letting me burn my apartment down when I left the burner on this morning. Forgive me for not taking the time to pray for Mitch and turn my concerns for him over to you. I know that there is no acceptable excuse for not taking time to talk to you and share my concerns openly. We both know I could have used the peaceful rest this would have allowed.
Thank you for this glorious week you have given me. Thank you for guiding me to Eastlake where I could be safe enough, not just in your arms, but in the love of a strong church family, to let down those final walls that were keeping me from opening my heart. Thank you for filling me up and overflowing me with your grace and joy. My week has been so amazing in ways that only you could have imagined for me. Forgive me for basking in the glory of your light like a lazy lizard on a rock. You have clearly shown me the work you want me to do, yet I have been that lazy lizard. I have been so blessed and so busy soaking up those blessings that I have forgotten that you have a job for me.
Thank you for smoothing my path this week so that it was easier to turn away from things that are les beneficial and focus on those things that are better. Thank you for the yummy salads, the friends to go walking with, the chiropractor, his awesome assistant and all of the other people who are helping me to become healthy. Help me stay on this path and lend me your strength that I may never again be the glutton who wears drowsiness like rags.
As I focus more on you and less on the many blessings that you have given me, help me to find guidance in your word. Please give me the patience not to be bored with the bible but to keep looking until I find the meaning you intend for me.
Thank you for Eastlake. As Easter approaches, let us celebrate your life in ways beyond our imaginings. Show us your ways in which to touch more lives with your spirit. Open the hearts that are connected to Eastlake in even the most indirect ways that your love for us shines through us and draws others as your nectar draws your bees this spring.
Bless us all with the eloquence to speak in the language that is necessary to reach those who need you most desperately. Lord, you have wrought some mighty changes. I am humbled and blessed to be a part of your chorus.
Love, Ericka
Thank you for not letting me burn my apartment down when I left the burner on this morning. Forgive me for not taking the time to pray for Mitch and turn my concerns for him over to you. I know that there is no acceptable excuse for not taking time to talk to you and share my concerns openly. We both know I could have used the peaceful rest this would have allowed.
Thank you for this glorious week you have given me. Thank you for guiding me to Eastlake where I could be safe enough, not just in your arms, but in the love of a strong church family, to let down those final walls that were keeping me from opening my heart. Thank you for filling me up and overflowing me with your grace and joy. My week has been so amazing in ways that only you could have imagined for me. Forgive me for basking in the glory of your light like a lazy lizard on a rock. You have clearly shown me the work you want me to do, yet I have been that lazy lizard. I have been so blessed and so busy soaking up those blessings that I have forgotten that you have a job for me.
Thank you for smoothing my path this week so that it was easier to turn away from things that are les beneficial and focus on those things that are better. Thank you for the yummy salads, the friends to go walking with, the chiropractor, his awesome assistant and all of the other people who are helping me to become healthy. Help me stay on this path and lend me your strength that I may never again be the glutton who wears drowsiness like rags.
As I focus more on you and less on the many blessings that you have given me, help me to find guidance in your word. Please give me the patience not to be bored with the bible but to keep looking until I find the meaning you intend for me.
Thank you for Eastlake. As Easter approaches, let us celebrate your life in ways beyond our imaginings. Show us your ways in which to touch more lives with your spirit. Open the hearts that are connected to Eastlake in even the most indirect ways that your love for us shines through us and draws others as your nectar draws your bees this spring.
Bless us all with the eloquence to speak in the language that is necessary to reach those who need you most desperately. Lord, you have wrought some mighty changes. I am humbled and blessed to be a part of your chorus.
Love, Ericka
Pride
Dear Lord,
As I write my prayers, today and everyday, help me to remember that no matter who may read or hear them, these are truly just for you and me. Help me to keep my own pride out of them so that you can continue to speak to me and use me in a away that can glorify you.
Love, Ericka
As I write my prayers, today and everyday, help me to remember that no matter who may read or hear them, these are truly just for you and me. Help me to keep my own pride out of them so that you can continue to speak to me and use me in a away that can glorify you.
Love, Ericka
Friday, April 1, 2011
An April Fool
Dear God,
Forgive me for being a slacker this week. I believe that writing is the focus that you approve of, yet I have not "had the time" to write. I know this is my own shortcoming that I have given priority to things that really don't matter. Please help me to stay committed to doing those things that are really important.
Help me to focus on the beautiful children that you have trusted me to raise in your love. Give me patience for them and help me to be better at giving them my undivided attention.
Lord, please help Dan and I to fully reconnect. I really miss him. I am seeing some of the same issues with Dan that I was having with Aaron and I can't help but wonder if I am the common denominator. Please help me to focus on Dan's strengths and support him rather than tearing him down for his weaknesses. Help me begin to see Dan as our head of household and to treat him as such so that he can feel my support of him.
Please give me strength as I begin my journey back to good health. Help me to find those supports that I need in order to know what I need to focus on. Thank you for holding my hand to help me avoid sugary temptation this week, but don't let go of me now as we both know that was just the first small challenge on this treacherous path. I know that you will move this mountain for me if I just keep on walking. Please bless Dr. Risley as he helps my back to heal and bless Katelyn for the beauty she adds to my physical and emotional healing. Help me to know when it is good to work through the pain and when it will cause further injury. Help me not to use pain as an excuse when I know that many times all I need is to move.
I feel better about Jesi, but I ask that you grant her a measure of your peace and open her heart to feel your love. Please give Khelon a safe and happy birthday. Guide Shay-Shay to a path of healing from both her physical and spiritual hurts. Open Angie's heart to know that all power comes from you and give her faith that you will make sure she still has a family to support her. Bless Moogie and Misti as they wait for their new home to be prepared for them. Grant Nana and TC all of the strength and patience that young mamas need. Bless my babies. Help Payton to feel your peace and your strength so that he can learn patience and calm. Help Livi to learn that anger is not good when left unchecked and pouting isn't a resolution. Give Ash the confidence to know her own beauty and not be as susceptible to the slings and arrows of grade school. Please continue to help me grow and to be the mother that nurtures my kids the way that you have entrusted me.
Love, Eeka
Forgive me for being a slacker this week. I believe that writing is the focus that you approve of, yet I have not "had the time" to write. I know this is my own shortcoming that I have given priority to things that really don't matter. Please help me to stay committed to doing those things that are really important.
Help me to focus on the beautiful children that you have trusted me to raise in your love. Give me patience for them and help me to be better at giving them my undivided attention.
Lord, please help Dan and I to fully reconnect. I really miss him. I am seeing some of the same issues with Dan that I was having with Aaron and I can't help but wonder if I am the common denominator. Please help me to focus on Dan's strengths and support him rather than tearing him down for his weaknesses. Help me begin to see Dan as our head of household and to treat him as such so that he can feel my support of him.
Please give me strength as I begin my journey back to good health. Help me to find those supports that I need in order to know what I need to focus on. Thank you for holding my hand to help me avoid sugary temptation this week, but don't let go of me now as we both know that was just the first small challenge on this treacherous path. I know that you will move this mountain for me if I just keep on walking. Please bless Dr. Risley as he helps my back to heal and bless Katelyn for the beauty she adds to my physical and emotional healing. Help me to know when it is good to work through the pain and when it will cause further injury. Help me not to use pain as an excuse when I know that many times all I need is to move.
I feel better about Jesi, but I ask that you grant her a measure of your peace and open her heart to feel your love. Please give Khelon a safe and happy birthday. Guide Shay-Shay to a path of healing from both her physical and spiritual hurts. Open Angie's heart to know that all power comes from you and give her faith that you will make sure she still has a family to support her. Bless Moogie and Misti as they wait for their new home to be prepared for them. Grant Nana and TC all of the strength and patience that young mamas need. Bless my babies. Help Payton to feel your peace and your strength so that he can learn patience and calm. Help Livi to learn that anger is not good when left unchecked and pouting isn't a resolution. Give Ash the confidence to know her own beauty and not be as susceptible to the slings and arrows of grade school. Please continue to help me grow and to be the mother that nurtures my kids the way that you have entrusted me.
Love, Eeka
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Dan & I
Dear God,
Thank you for showing me how far I had gone from Dan and for showing me how easy it could be to be honest again. Thank you for helping us grow together. Help us continue to strengthen our relationship and our resolve as we re-evaluate our priorities in order to take control of our budget. As you guide us in ways to decrease our expenses, please inspire me with your vision of how to be significant while still being able to provide the income we need to maintain our home. Thank you for giving me Dan to support me. Help me to appreciate his fluidity even when it's hard for me as it is also what allows him to grow with me as I am evolved through your love. Help me to maintain honesty in all that I do and to trust you to take care of us as you are for the birds and the squirrels out in our yard. You are amazing in your patience and awesome in your glory.
Love, Ericka
Thank you for showing me how far I had gone from Dan and for showing me how easy it could be to be honest again. Thank you for helping us grow together. Help us continue to strengthen our relationship and our resolve as we re-evaluate our priorities in order to take control of our budget. As you guide us in ways to decrease our expenses, please inspire me with your vision of how to be significant while still being able to provide the income we need to maintain our home. Thank you for giving me Dan to support me. Help me to appreciate his fluidity even when it's hard for me as it is also what allows him to grow with me as I am evolved through your love. Help me to maintain honesty in all that I do and to trust you to take care of us as you are for the birds and the squirrels out in our yard. You are amazing in your patience and awesome in your glory.
Love, Ericka
Monday, March 28, 2011
My Story
Dear Lord,
I am going to write my story today. I'm not entirely sure what all that means until I start writing it down. I am going to be as open and honest as I can be with myself. I have some ideas of where to start, but as always, I don't know exactly where I'm going. Thank you for bringing me through my story and for giving me the courage to share it. Help me to write it in such a way that does not ask for pity over hardships, but glorifies you for the changes you have wrought in me. I know I am not an easy material to work with but you have already made beautiful changes. Thank you for all you have done and continue to do for me. Please use my story to share your hope with those who need it.
Love, Ericka
I am going to write my story today. I'm not entirely sure what all that means until I start writing it down. I am going to be as open and honest as I can be with myself. I have some ideas of where to start, but as always, I don't know exactly where I'm going. Thank you for bringing me through my story and for giving me the courage to share it. Help me to write it in such a way that does not ask for pity over hardships, but glorifies you for the changes you have wrought in me. I know I am not an easy material to work with but you have already made beautiful changes. Thank you for all you have done and continue to do for me. Please use my story to share your hope with those who need it.
Love, Ericka
What a great Monday!
Dear God,
Thank you for giving me the confidence to face such a busy day. Thank you for helping me prepare for the knowns so that I can better roll with the unknowns. Thank you for the opportunity to re-apply for financial assistance for Dan's c-pap. I knew that although it was honest when I filled it out, it was no longer accurate when I turned it in. Now I can fill it out with a renewed honesty and trust that you will help me to handle whatever the results are. Thank you for sharing Katelyn and Dr. Risley with me. The physical healing and beautiful people give me a wonderful start to my day.
Love, Ericka
Thank you for giving me the confidence to face such a busy day. Thank you for helping me prepare for the knowns so that I can better roll with the unknowns. Thank you for the opportunity to re-apply for financial assistance for Dan's c-pap. I knew that although it was honest when I filled it out, it was no longer accurate when I turned it in. Now I can fill it out with a renewed honesty and trust that you will help me to handle whatever the results are. Thank you for sharing Katelyn and Dr. Risley with me. The physical healing and beautiful people give me a wonderful start to my day.
Love, Ericka
Sunday, March 27, 2011
For my Eastlake Family
Dear God,
Thank You for showing me the way to Eastlake and the beautiful family that You have helped us to build. Thank You for all of the bright and shining faces who streak like blazing comets through the kids' area. Bless all of these children of Yours and bless those families that you have allowed to help You nurture them in this life. Support the volunteers who are so dedicated to helping our kids have such a great time as they learn about You. Thank You for helping these children do as You've told us to do and let the acts of their love as children shine into any darkness that their families may be stumbling through.
God, we praise You for the strength you have given to Ami and her family and the grace that You have show them to light their way in a dark time. Thank You for allowing the rest of us to bask in Your glory as You shine through their beautiful smiling faces.
Thank You for bringing us Pastor Matt. Please continue to guide him to do what you need him to do. Give him Your energy so he will not be weary as he electrifies us with Your word and give him Your peace so he may appreciate the many blessings You have given him.
And finally, Lord, bless our prayer team. Thank You for using them to support me in ways that I can share Your love. Bless each member of our team as we pour our hearts out to you so that you can refill us with that hope that springs eternal.
Lord, hear our prayers and help us to glorify You in all we are.
Amen
Thank You for showing me the way to Eastlake and the beautiful family that You have helped us to build. Thank You for all of the bright and shining faces who streak like blazing comets through the kids' area. Bless all of these children of Yours and bless those families that you have allowed to help You nurture them in this life. Support the volunteers who are so dedicated to helping our kids have such a great time as they learn about You. Thank You for helping these children do as You've told us to do and let the acts of their love as children shine into any darkness that their families may be stumbling through.
God, we praise You for the strength you have given to Ami and her family and the grace that You have show them to light their way in a dark time. Thank You for allowing the rest of us to bask in Your glory as You shine through their beautiful smiling faces.
Thank You for bringing us Pastor Matt. Please continue to guide him to do what you need him to do. Give him Your energy so he will not be weary as he electrifies us with Your word and give him Your peace so he may appreciate the many blessings You have given him.
And finally, Lord, bless our prayer team. Thank You for using them to support me in ways that I can share Your love. Bless each member of our team as we pour our hearts out to you so that you can refill us with that hope that springs eternal.
Lord, hear our prayers and help us to glorify You in all we are.
Amen
My Sunday Morning Review
Dear God,
Please forgive me for being too busy to pray. I know You can do great things through me if I will only let You.
I have been trying to make food choices that are more beneficial for me this week. Thank You for Your little nudges to move me in the right direction. Help me to remember that guilt is not a tool that You would use. You want me to be a support for others, not because of the pain of my guilt, but because of Your peace, love and grace in me. Thank You for encouraging Lynnette to remind me that I know I can't be healthier by myself, but with Your spirit in me, I cannot fail.
Please help me to view my budget through Your eyes so that our finances are not just a means of our survival, but an example of Your glory. Move me where You need me and help me to keep my heart and mind open for Your suggestions.
Thank You for waking me early enough to fulfill my commitment to Kelly and the prayer team. Thank You for reminding me that as well as being an amazing processor, my mind is a fantastic receiver. Help me not to forget that Your station is not the only one out there so that I can stay tuned to You. Help me to realize that those negative waves I pick up so often are not You, and they are not me either. Help me to show the world the beautiful creation You have made in me and thank You for using Sue to remind me that I'm still pretty darned cute.
Love, Ericka
Please forgive me for being too busy to pray. I know You can do great things through me if I will only let You.
I have been trying to make food choices that are more beneficial for me this week. Thank You for Your little nudges to move me in the right direction. Help me to remember that guilt is not a tool that You would use. You want me to be a support for others, not because of the pain of my guilt, but because of Your peace, love and grace in me. Thank You for encouraging Lynnette to remind me that I know I can't be healthier by myself, but with Your spirit in me, I cannot fail.
Please help me to view my budget through Your eyes so that our finances are not just a means of our survival, but an example of Your glory. Move me where You need me and help me to keep my heart and mind open for Your suggestions.
Thank You for waking me early enough to fulfill my commitment to Kelly and the prayer team. Thank You for reminding me that as well as being an amazing processor, my mind is a fantastic receiver. Help me not to forget that Your station is not the only one out there so that I can stay tuned to You. Help me to realize that those negative waves I pick up so often are not You, and they are not me either. Help me to show the world the beautiful creation You have made in me and thank You for using Sue to remind me that I'm still pretty darned cute.
Love, Ericka
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Thank you
Dear God,
Thank You for being patient with me. I am pretty sure this is the first time I have trusted You with my kids. Of course, You did not let me down. Please continue to lend me Your strength as I work to build my faith. Please allow me to keep borrowing calm and wisdom from Your stores. Share Your vision with me, please, that I may see those opportunities where I can share Your love and glorify You.
Thank You for giving me the courage to overcome my fear of being completely honest with Dan. Help us to grow back together to the point that I know that honesty is my only option.
Continue to lend me Your grace, please, as I continue to face that silly snake. Help me to keep tying him in knots today.
Love, Your friend, Ericka
Thank You for being patient with me. I am pretty sure this is the first time I have trusted You with my kids. Of course, You did not let me down. Please continue to lend me Your strength as I work to build my faith. Please allow me to keep borrowing calm and wisdom from Your stores. Share Your vision with me, please, that I may see those opportunities where I can share Your love and glorify You.
Thank You for giving me the courage to overcome my fear of being completely honest with Dan. Help us to grow back together to the point that I know that honesty is my only option.
Continue to lend me Your grace, please, as I continue to face that silly snake. Help me to keep tying him in knots today.
Love, Your friend, Ericka
Third Parent Oversight
Dear God,
I don't know what to do and I'm not even sure what kind of help to ask for. I am trying to avoid justification of the situation. We messed up. I hate to think that such a dumb mistake on our part could cost us our daughter.
I am so lost and I don't even know what to think. I know that You have a plan to help things work out for the best, but I don't know where I fit into that plan.
Where is the line between turning things over to You and giving up? When I don't know what to do, I do nothing. So far, that hasn't panned out so well.
Please help us not to lose our little girl. I can't handle the idea that she might really be better off without us.
Please grant me Your peace and Your wisdom as I have none of my own.
Love, Eeka
I don't know what to do and I'm not even sure what kind of help to ask for. I am trying to avoid justification of the situation. We messed up. I hate to think that such a dumb mistake on our part could cost us our daughter.
I am so lost and I don't even know what to think. I know that You have a plan to help things work out for the best, but I don't know where I fit into that plan.
Where is the line between turning things over to You and giving up? When I don't know what to do, I do nothing. So far, that hasn't panned out so well.
Please help us not to lose our little girl. I can't handle the idea that she might really be better off without us.
Please grant me Your peace and Your wisdom as I have none of my own.
Love, Eeka
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Frustration
Dear God,
Help me to be the parent You want me to be for my kids. Please give me Your strength to get through my day. Help me to find some relief from this physical pain.
Thank you.
Love, Ericka
Help me to be the parent You want me to be for my kids. Please give me Your strength to get through my day. Help me to find some relief from this physical pain.
Thank you.
Love, Ericka
Sunday, March 20, 2011
For my Dan, kind of . . .
Dear God,
I worry about my Dan. He has helped me through so much yet I am not very nice to him sometimes. Please help me to find way to share my concerns with him that won't frustrate both of us. Or show me another way to deal with my concerns. Please let him feel your love and see that he has an important job to do here as a daddy and a husband. Help to heal his heart so he can help you heal his body. Please help me to be an example of your love and help me to show him a path to your love.
Thank you for loaning him to me.
Love, Ericka
For Jesi
Dear God,
I know You are already looking out for Jesi and I am doing my best to trust that You are keeping her safe. Please help her to feel Your love and support. Help her to realize that You and her family will always love her and that she can always come home, to You and to us. If You could just send her a reminder to touch base with us so that we all can be reassured that she is all right and then we can support and help her in any way that she needs us. Please help me to trust in Your love for her and not to worry so much.
Love, Ericka
Saturday, March 19, 2011
My prayer journal
Dear God,
Please help me to use this prayer journal as an inspiration and a guide. As I open my thoughts to You, please help me to also open my heart to the guidance that You are sharing. Please use me in a way that I am best suited, even if it is not the way I expected to go.
Thank You for the many blessings You have bestowed upon me. Thank You for my family and help me to have the patience they need so I can help to guide them in Your love. Thank You for providing us with a home and the means to maintain it. Please give me the courage to face each day and every challenge with Your strength and determination. Please help me to see through Your vision so that I do not become so easily overwhelmed by the mundane things that clutter my home, my heart and my life. Thank You for allowing me the use of so much during my short time on this earth and help me to remember to care for all that I have in a way that reflects the knowledge that I am only keeping money and possessions on loan from You and it is my job to maintain the earthly garden. Thank You for the friends who bless my days and support me in my struggles. Please help me be a window through which they can see the light of Your love and a warm embrace that shows them the true warmth of Your grace. Help me to not take pride in accomplishments as my own, as we both know that I am capable of so very little on my own.
Thank You for the gift of my life on this earth. Thank You for all that You have given me and help me to appreciate the physical body that You have provided. Thank You for Your love and patience as I struggle to become more worthy of all You do for me.
Love, Ericka
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