Dear heavenly Father,
Thank You for bringing me friends to support me in all the ways I need. Thank You for Regan's insistence that I take care of myself, Edye's constant support and June's admonishment to not be anxious and to pray, PRAY, PRAY! Forgive me for my anxiety and fear that I allowed to build up over some silly dental work. Thank You for staying with me in that dental chair and calming my nerves as the enemy was trying to electrocute me by way of anxiety. Thank You for being my strength when I cannot stand on my own.
Guide Dan and I as we work through our current financial crisis. Help us to be faithful to our budget and to You in how we budget and how we work to stick to it. Help me to stay focused in all of my own budgeting: My time, my talents and my resources. Help me to gather the knowledge that I need and then to take the next step in putting it, not just to good use, but to Godly use. Help me to truly use all that I have and all that I am, to Your glory.
Help me to see that every decision I make in regards to how I spend money, how and what I eat, how or if I take care of my physical body, how often I pray or read your word, and whether I snap and complain or rejoice and be patient, EVERY SINGLE DECISION, is a choice to obey or disobey. Every action I take and every thought I follow will either glorify You or aid the enemy. This is a war that we are waging. Lord, help me to be a warrior who is all for You and not some wishy-washy double agent.
Commander of all that is good and just, let EastLake be Your army in this constant battle against evil. Let us take up the armor of Your word to shield us from sin. Let us make a weapon of Your grace, to shine a light in those shadows where the enemy is strong. Let our decisions as a church be an example of Your wisdom, not only in who we hire, but in why and how we hire them. Let Matt's inspiration help us to slay our doubts and to see the ways we are helping the enemy. Help all of us at EastLake to burn for You. Help us to see that every action is a choice. Will we glorify You? Or are we working against You? Lord, help us to see those choices in how we love our kids, treat our friends, love our enemies and welcome strangers. Lord, strengthen us in Your grace as we battle public opinion and stereotypes kindled by well-meaning but misguided souls. Lord, please clearly show us our path that we may not come to the same forks and go astray.
And Lord, as You strengthen and guide us all here at EastLake, help us to carry Your love beyond our Sunday service and our growth groups. Let our every action be a testament to Your love that all who see us get a little taste. Let those little appetizers of love draw folks to us as the smell of BBQ brings them to South Park on Friday. We pray that You'll hold back the storms that we may electrify the air as we worship You. Help us use this great opportunity to open the invitation to folks we didn't even know to invite.
Let us not lose sight of You in our excitement. Let those who know us come to know You through us and take those next steps to know You more as they let go and step away from the pain of life alone without You.
Amen
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Sunday Morning Review 17
Dear Daddy in Heaven,
Thank You for the joyous week You have given me. Thank You for bringing new friends to me through EastLake and for strengthening current relationships. let the excitement for worship night spill over so much that people are either putting on galoshes to keep from getting their feet wet or they just gotta go find out what all the excitement is about.
Help me to be an example of Your love in ALL ways. Not just the easy ways. Help me to work past what could truly be food addiction to the truth that only You can bring me comfort. Help me to find the balance between my pain and my budget. Lord, I trust in Your power and Your grace that You have a plan to heal this pain and wash all these toxins away. Please guide me in a way so obvious that even I can't miss the path I need to take. And Lord, let the world see You through our budget. I know that there is no security in our budget. I know that there never will be, no matter how much we cut corners, which jobs Dan or I take or how much extra cash we can bring in. Show us the ways to reduce our current commitments without adding to our debt snowball, which is already growing so big as it rolls downhill that it's hard to see a way it won't crush us. Please protect us from our own stupidity. Protect us from ourselves and our wants and our gimme's and our desire for instant gratification.
Lord, thank You for Your word today and it's message to me. Thank You for hearing my prayers even though some days I feel as though I'm closer to the wicked end of the scale than to the righteous. I know that PCOS means that my body is hoarding fat because it thinks I'm going to starve. Your grace amazes me this morning as You spoke so directly to me. Wondrous healer, thank You seems so insufficient, yet I have no better words and You know the weight that You have lifted off of me today through that one thought. Thank You, my kind and loving Daddy in heaven, for showing me that PCOS is not just in my physical body, but in my head and my heart as well. As we move into the second half of the month and the bulk of our food budget is gone again, I want another helping while it's still there to take. I am resentful of that one bite that Livi wants to try of my food when she already has her own portion. I may still share, but it is only begrudgingly. Forgive me that I am reduced to a dog growling over a bone-- and at my own child--when there are a hundred other bones within easy reach.
Lord, You have shared Your generosity with us again this week through Your children. I see how you clothed the lilies and how you have clothed us. I know that the ravens brought food to Elijah, You sent manna to feed Your people in the desert and You fed hundreds of people with one boy's lunch. You have proven over and again that You take care of Your people and that You count me among them. How silly am I to doubt Your love for me and Your protection?
Please help me to see all the aspects of my life where I have PCOS. In what areas do I not trust Your grace? Thank You for the reminder that Your grace is truly sufficient and that You will fulfill ALL of my needs in Your love and mercy.
Hugs and kisses, Dad,
Love, Ericka
Thank You for the joyous week You have given me. Thank You for bringing new friends to me through EastLake and for strengthening current relationships. let the excitement for worship night spill over so much that people are either putting on galoshes to keep from getting their feet wet or they just gotta go find out what all the excitement is about.
Help me to be an example of Your love in ALL ways. Not just the easy ways. Help me to work past what could truly be food addiction to the truth that only You can bring me comfort. Help me to find the balance between my pain and my budget. Lord, I trust in Your power and Your grace that You have a plan to heal this pain and wash all these toxins away. Please guide me in a way so obvious that even I can't miss the path I need to take. And Lord, let the world see You through our budget. I know that there is no security in our budget. I know that there never will be, no matter how much we cut corners, which jobs Dan or I take or how much extra cash we can bring in. Show us the ways to reduce our current commitments without adding to our debt snowball, which is already growing so big as it rolls downhill that it's hard to see a way it won't crush us. Please protect us from our own stupidity. Protect us from ourselves and our wants and our gimme's and our desire for instant gratification.
Lord, thank You for Your word today and it's message to me. Thank You for hearing my prayers even though some days I feel as though I'm closer to the wicked end of the scale than to the righteous. I know that PCOS means that my body is hoarding fat because it thinks I'm going to starve. Your grace amazes me this morning as You spoke so directly to me. Wondrous healer, thank You seems so insufficient, yet I have no better words and You know the weight that You have lifted off of me today through that one thought. Thank You, my kind and loving Daddy in heaven, for showing me that PCOS is not just in my physical body, but in my head and my heart as well. As we move into the second half of the month and the bulk of our food budget is gone again, I want another helping while it's still there to take. I am resentful of that one bite that Livi wants to try of my food when she already has her own portion. I may still share, but it is only begrudgingly. Forgive me that I am reduced to a dog growling over a bone-- and at my own child--when there are a hundred other bones within easy reach.
Lord, You have shared Your generosity with us again this week through Your children. I see how you clothed the lilies and how you have clothed us. I know that the ravens brought food to Elijah, You sent manna to feed Your people in the desert and You fed hundreds of people with one boy's lunch. You have proven over and again that You take care of Your people and that You count me among them. How silly am I to doubt Your love for me and Your protection?
Please help me to see all the aspects of my life where I have PCOS. In what areas do I not trust Your grace? Thank You for the reminder that Your grace is truly sufficient and that You will fulfill ALL of my needs in Your love and mercy.
Hugs and kisses, Dad,
Love, Ericka
Friday, July 15, 2011
Ungrateful
Click here to read about the day that inspired this prayer.
Dear God,
I am sorry that I have not been more grateful. Please forgive me for losing sight of my blessings because of a little bobble in my plans.
I DO miss Ash something fierce. Thank You for letting me know that she is safe and healthy. Thank you for the loving spirit you have given her, and that she calls us when she is excited. Thank You for Melissa and Dee who love her and for all that they are doing for her this summer, even if their motives are not pure. Thank You for taking those things that were intended to harm Dan and I and for turning them to the good for Ash.
I was really hoping to get at least an interview for that EastLake job. I was so excited for the possibility of that opportunity. Thank You for moving me to apply and grow. Forgive me for losing sight of Your goals over my wants. Forgive me for not trusting in Your perfect plan for me. Please help me to see my next steps on the path You have laid out for me.
Thank You for the blessing of holiday pay that allowed us to go to McDonald's for dollar menu and ice cream. Forgive me for placing so much importance on unhealthy food choices that it could make me cry, when I should have asked for Your comfort. Please help me to move past this issue I have with food. Help me to discover if this is an addiction, and if so, what do I need to do to free myself of it. Thank You for the wonderfully loving and supportive family You have surrounded me with at EastLake.
Lord, help me to see my blessings first and foremost. Getting caught up in the negatives is not in Your plan. I know that when those thoughts creep in, I am tuned in to the wrong station.
Help me to focus on tasks that I need to accomplish so that I can avoid distractions and irrational fears. Guide me through challenging phone calls and tasks so that I can get them done and out of the way. Help me be motivated to get those kinds of jobs finished so that I can enjoy my family time without guilt.
Amen
Dear God,
I am sorry that I have not been more grateful. Please forgive me for losing sight of my blessings because of a little bobble in my plans.
I DO miss Ash something fierce. Thank You for letting me know that she is safe and healthy. Thank you for the loving spirit you have given her, and that she calls us when she is excited. Thank You for Melissa and Dee who love her and for all that they are doing for her this summer, even if their motives are not pure. Thank You for taking those things that were intended to harm Dan and I and for turning them to the good for Ash.
I was really hoping to get at least an interview for that EastLake job. I was so excited for the possibility of that opportunity. Thank You for moving me to apply and grow. Forgive me for losing sight of Your goals over my wants. Forgive me for not trusting in Your perfect plan for me. Please help me to see my next steps on the path You have laid out for me.
Thank You for the blessing of holiday pay that allowed us to go to McDonald's for dollar menu and ice cream. Forgive me for placing so much importance on unhealthy food choices that it could make me cry, when I should have asked for Your comfort. Please help me to move past this issue I have with food. Help me to discover if this is an addiction, and if so, what do I need to do to free myself of it. Thank You for the wonderfully loving and supportive family You have surrounded me with at EastLake.
Lord, help me to see my blessings first and foremost. Getting caught up in the negatives is not in Your plan. I know that when those thoughts creep in, I am tuned in to the wrong station.
Help me to focus on tasks that I need to accomplish so that I can avoid distractions and irrational fears. Guide me through challenging phone calls and tasks so that I can get them done and out of the way. Help me be motivated to get those kinds of jobs finished so that I can enjoy my family time without guilt.
Amen
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Sunday Morning Review 16
Dear God,
What a blessed week this has been. We got to enjoy the fourth together as a family and with the added surprise of Grandpa Al. I've been learning and growing through my groups as well as building new and long-term relationships. Thank You, God, for all that Eastlake has done for me and for all I can do to help You use us in Lawrence.
We've had rides and sitters and mommy/daughter playdates. I've seen friends' prayers be answered in unexpected ways as new struggles arise and people I know well, that I barely know, and friends I haven't seen in years are all turning to me for guidance. I know that You must be bringing them to me and I trust in Your guidance as I share Your love. I never expected to find myself in such a role again after all these years of wandering, but I am blessed to know how I found my way back to You and I hope that I can be a comfort and a safe place to rest both for those who already know You and those who don't yet know how much they need You. Thank You for the questions that you are raising in my Dan and the trust he has in me that he will come to me with his questions. I long to see the moment when he feels Your spirit move in him.
Thank You for bringing Dan and I together on our budget. Please help me to remember that there is no security in our budget and that it is through Your grace and love that we are protected. Help us to heed Your wisdom as we plan a budget that can glorify You with the money that You have so graciously entrusted to us. Please be our strength as we struggle to figure out what has to go and carry us when our weak wills would give up and spend even further beyond our means. Guide me in creative ways that we can have fun as a family, while still teaching our kids to budget their time, talents, money and health.
Thank You for all of the groups I am in and all of the great friends you have touched me with. Help me to be a blessing to them as they are blessing me. Help me and all the group leaders, to know when to talk and when to shut up. Help us to grow as we support others in Your love.
And finally, Lord, today I would ask you for healing and protection. There are so many hurts in our EastLake family while others are experiencing unbounded joy. Let those who are lifted now feel Your grace fully. Let there be no taint on their blessing when they see others struggling. Help us all to feel Your hand in our lives through both the happiness and the grief. Help us to have faith that no matter how great our plan is, Yours is infinitely better. Help EastLake to continue to be Your lighthouse even through our family struggles that none lose sight of You in their personal storms.
Let the love and attitude of service that permeates EastLake draw even more lives to Your love as we prepare for our worship night in a time when so many are lost and don't yet know that You are what they have been searching for. Fan the flames of Your spirit in our hearts so that Your glory will shine through all we do and all we are.
Amen
What a blessed week this has been. We got to enjoy the fourth together as a family and with the added surprise of Grandpa Al. I've been learning and growing through my groups as well as building new and long-term relationships. Thank You, God, for all that Eastlake has done for me and for all I can do to help You use us in Lawrence.
We've had rides and sitters and mommy/daughter playdates. I've seen friends' prayers be answered in unexpected ways as new struggles arise and people I know well, that I barely know, and friends I haven't seen in years are all turning to me for guidance. I know that You must be bringing them to me and I trust in Your guidance as I share Your love. I never expected to find myself in such a role again after all these years of wandering, but I am blessed to know how I found my way back to You and I hope that I can be a comfort and a safe place to rest both for those who already know You and those who don't yet know how much they need You. Thank You for the questions that you are raising in my Dan and the trust he has in me that he will come to me with his questions. I long to see the moment when he feels Your spirit move in him.
Thank You for bringing Dan and I together on our budget. Please help me to remember that there is no security in our budget and that it is through Your grace and love that we are protected. Help us to heed Your wisdom as we plan a budget that can glorify You with the money that You have so graciously entrusted to us. Please be our strength as we struggle to figure out what has to go and carry us when our weak wills would give up and spend even further beyond our means. Guide me in creative ways that we can have fun as a family, while still teaching our kids to budget their time, talents, money and health.
Thank You for all of the groups I am in and all of the great friends you have touched me with. Help me to be a blessing to them as they are blessing me. Help me and all the group leaders, to know when to talk and when to shut up. Help us to grow as we support others in Your love.
And finally, Lord, today I would ask you for healing and protection. There are so many hurts in our EastLake family while others are experiencing unbounded joy. Let those who are lifted now feel Your grace fully. Let there be no taint on their blessing when they see others struggling. Help us all to feel Your hand in our lives through both the happiness and the grief. Help us to have faith that no matter how great our plan is, Yours is infinitely better. Help EastLake to continue to be Your lighthouse even through our family struggles that none lose sight of You in their personal storms.
Let the love and attitude of service that permeates EastLake draw even more lives to Your love as we prepare for our worship night in a time when so many are lost and don't yet know that You are what they have been searching for. Fan the flames of Your spirit in our hearts so that Your glory will shine through all we do and all we are.
Amen
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Sunday Morning Review 15: Forgiveness and Peace
Dear Heavenly Father,
I miss our little girl. I don't get to talk to her because Dan is at work when he calls her and our call times are also group times. I have been working hard on forgiving Melissa and you have washed so much anger away from me. I praise you for your mercy and patience as I through this cycle of frustration and forgiveness again and again. You know I will keep trying forever and you have shown me the love that does make this easier. I know that obedience has built in rewards and forgiveness brings peace. Thank you for that. I know that you hold our daughter, Ashlynn, in your arms. I know that she is known and safe and loved. I know that you will bring her to us as is your will in your time. I am struggling to be patient. In a world where moms like Shayna can't carry babies of their own to love and beautiful girls like Jayden and Kim leave us way too soon, I realize that my wishes seem pretty small. I know that Ashlynn is your daughter and that you entrusted us to love her as ours, and to nurture her and help her grow. I have loved that role. I was not ready to give up that full time role, but we did to save her from being pulled apart. Now it seems that our limited role has been cut back even further. Is this your will? Or is this Satan's way of trying to shake my faith? I want to do your will and I am trying to let her go to you. Lord, I am grieving. I am doing my best to respect Dan's decisions, choices and lack of choices as the head of our home. Please help me to be patient and supportive and not nag on him to do things my way. If it is your will for us to spend time with Ashlynn this summer, I beg you to let us know soon. It is so hard to be patient when my heart is breaking, Lord. I am giving Livi and Payton extra hugs and kisses. Payton's been gone so much more than usual this summer too. Thank you for giving Dan and I our beautiful daughter, Livi, who we don't have to share with a third parent. Thank you for EastLake, with the friends and family who support us and the growth groups that keep me going through this time.
Father, Daddy, thank you for the role you have given me as a mother to all of the beautiful children you have shared with me; Payton, Avian, Ashlynn, Saanna and Olivia. Thank you for the four other blessed babies who are with you and I never got a chance to know. Thank you for giving me the qualities to be the mother that they have all needed at the times we were together. My cup overflows with your love and mercy, yet I am not content. I cry and plead for me. I fight, kicking and screaming, when you ask me to fill a different role. Forgive me. Dear Daddy in heaven, forgive me for being so ungrateful. Dear daddy, with your arms around me in my dirty kitchen, forgive me for my selfishness.
You have never let me down. I know that as I fulfill the role you have given me, my rewards will be greater than all of what has been taken away from me. I love you so much.
Thank you for sitting and talking with me today, Dad. Your comfort cradles me as your grace soothes my heart. Thank you for your peace. Please let that peace flow through me today that all I touch may feel it and relax into your safe and loving arms with me.
Talk to ya later, Dad,
Love, Eeka
I miss our little girl. I don't get to talk to her because Dan is at work when he calls her and our call times are also group times. I have been working hard on forgiving Melissa and you have washed so much anger away from me. I praise you for your mercy and patience as I through this cycle of frustration and forgiveness again and again. You know I will keep trying forever and you have shown me the love that does make this easier. I know that obedience has built in rewards and forgiveness brings peace. Thank you for that. I know that you hold our daughter, Ashlynn, in your arms. I know that she is known and safe and loved. I know that you will bring her to us as is your will in your time. I am struggling to be patient. In a world where moms like Shayna can't carry babies of their own to love and beautiful girls like Jayden and Kim leave us way too soon, I realize that my wishes seem pretty small. I know that Ashlynn is your daughter and that you entrusted us to love her as ours, and to nurture her and help her grow. I have loved that role. I was not ready to give up that full time role, but we did to save her from being pulled apart. Now it seems that our limited role has been cut back even further. Is this your will? Or is this Satan's way of trying to shake my faith? I want to do your will and I am trying to let her go to you. Lord, I am grieving. I am doing my best to respect Dan's decisions, choices and lack of choices as the head of our home. Please help me to be patient and supportive and not nag on him to do things my way. If it is your will for us to spend time with Ashlynn this summer, I beg you to let us know soon. It is so hard to be patient when my heart is breaking, Lord. I am giving Livi and Payton extra hugs and kisses. Payton's been gone so much more than usual this summer too. Thank you for giving Dan and I our beautiful daughter, Livi, who we don't have to share with a third parent. Thank you for EastLake, with the friends and family who support us and the growth groups that keep me going through this time.
Father, Daddy, thank you for the role you have given me as a mother to all of the beautiful children you have shared with me; Payton, Avian, Ashlynn, Saanna and Olivia. Thank you for the four other blessed babies who are with you and I never got a chance to know. Thank you for giving me the qualities to be the mother that they have all needed at the times we were together. My cup overflows with your love and mercy, yet I am not content. I cry and plead for me. I fight, kicking and screaming, when you ask me to fill a different role. Forgive me. Dear Daddy in heaven, forgive me for being so ungrateful. Dear daddy, with your arms around me in my dirty kitchen, forgive me for my selfishness.
You have never let me down. I know that as I fulfill the role you have given me, my rewards will be greater than all of what has been taken away from me. I love you so much.
Thank you for sitting and talking with me today, Dad. Your comfort cradles me as your grace soothes my heart. Thank you for your peace. Please let that peace flow through me today that all I touch may feel it and relax into your safe and loving arms with me.
Talk to ya later, Dad,
Love, Eeka
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