Sunday Morning Review 22

Dear God,

Thank You for Friday night.  Thank You for Mary, who suggested it, the family I got to share it with, and all of the friends I got to see when I was there.  Thank You for the love in Deni's heart that makes every visit such a joy.  Thank You for all of the beautiful people you have shown me through EastLake, Lawrence, and even facebook.  I would never have believed that one person could be so rich in friends.

Thank You for bringing us the opportunity to see Ash again.  Thank You for Melissa's honesty.  Forgive me for holding on to my anger and my hurt.  I'm not sure how else to feel towards Melissa and I'm not fully sure that I want to.  And I know that I need to apologize to Dan today.  I have been praying for You to bring Ash back to us and trying to sit back and let Dan take the steps that he feels are right.  But even as I am waiting on the outside, I am not being actively patient on the inside.  I am holding a grudge against Melissa for every minute away from Ash and against Dan for every second his is not taking the steps that I feel are right.  I've been snippy and snarky and rude to him.  Lord, please help me to let go of this pain and anger.  My soul has a white knuckled grip on this and I am not sure how to let go.  I feel like I have the right to be mad and be the victim even though I know it's wrong and hurting both myself and those around me.

Dear God, please change the way I think.  I don't want to think about how this affects our case if we go back to court.  I want my heart to be open and loving but I don't know how.  Forgive me for my lack of faith and tear this hurt and anger from me that I can begin to heal and begin to learn how to quit being a victim.  Give me the peace that can only come from You and let me reflect Your love into this situation and all of my situations.  Thank You for giving me the supportive and loving biological and church family that You have given me to strengthen me during this hard time.

As You guide my thoughts and show me the steps I need to take to grow in Your love, I want to thank You again for the love, support and encouragement You have shown me through EastLake.  As You help me let go of my pain and anger, so that I can quit being a victim and truly triumph over satan, expand Your help and mercy to all of our EastLake family.  So many of us are struggling under the burden of past pain.  We are loathe to let go of it because it is so familiar to us.  It's such a cute little demon that we think we can handle him.  We are afraid that if we let him go, somebody bigger and nastier is going to take his place.  Lord, I pray that You banish those demons for us today.  Cast those old hurts and grudges so far from us that they are beyond our uncanny ability to pull them back.  Lord, fill that void for us.  Lift these sorrows that we may not even know we are holding onto and place a new rosebush in the gardens of our hearts.  Let Your love bloom in those roses and let the thorns keep us from allowing that cute little demon a grip on us again.  As You tear these demons away, give us Your vision to see that this cute little demon has grown up.  Let us see him for the evil that he is and not to fight for him as You cleanse him from our hearts.

Let the healing begin today, Lord.  Change our thoughts that we will learn to abhor those demons and be less likely to let another one in.  Move our hearts towards peace and show us our next steps that will not only bring us closer to You, but show others that they too can be healed by Your mercy.

Amen